According to me…..

Posts tagged ‘choices’

Maybe It’s Time

I’ve been volunteering for the last two years.

I’ve loved every minute.  I’ve grown and learned and it’s been tremendously fulfilling.

I started at a church making meals and feeding folks… I soon realized that this wasn’t what I would ever want to do as a career. I got to a point where I was not learning anything new… of course, I learn something every day, but career-wise. It was a phenomenal stepping stone.. it got me out and meeting humans and being alive again – but it was time.   So I moved on.  I met South Riverdale Community Health Centre – I met Susan B.  I can’t even describe the ways in which I’ve grown and learned since joining this organization.

I have spoken in public – which I NEVER thought I would do.  I’ve even sang. lol  I have learned how to create slideshows, and bulletin boards and worked with groups.  I’ve learned about the issues transgender people face, and women – taking back the night.  I’ve fought for social assistance rates to be raised, and for a transparent method of deciding what these rates aught to be.  I’ve written articles for the newsletter.    To say that I’m busy is an understatement.  But I’ve loved it.  All of it.  I’ve met incredible strong people.

Today I had an interview.  She offered me a job to apply to – I’d be writing.  She offered me training in my preferred field.  And more.

I’m sitting here thinking that maybe it’s time to start doing these things and earning a living at the same time.  Yes, whatever job I get has to mean something to me.  It has to fill my soul…. but I think it’s time to get my act together.  I have a lot of wonderful skills… they’ve shown me this.  I can be useful and fight this fight … but I can do it while earning money.  Suddenly I’m done being a volunteer.  Although, not completely…just as a career. lol  🙂  I love everyone I’ve met and all the things I’ve done.  I just think it’s maybe time to move it or lose it.  Folks have suggested going on ODSP – and while I would totally be a candidate for this, I refuse.  I’m not done.  To my way of thinking it’s like giving up…for me.  Some folks absolutely need it.  I’m not that person.

I see something new on the horizon.  I hope that whatever that is… it allows me to still participate in my first love.


Sometimes Life is Just Like That.

Some days, some times…. just like that.

Choices, decisions… sometimes too many.  Like chocolate bars or potato chips in a store.  Used to be so simple.  Now it’s a ten minute ordeal to choose one.  Like choices – you get older and they get tougher.

You know what’s right…. and you know what’s wrong.  Your head says one thing, your heart another.

To make a choice…so final – no take backs.  Not in this game.  Can’t undo, unsay, unbe a choice.  Not like in hopscotch, or tag, or hide and go seek…. You have to be sure… because the topics are more serious…although… as a kid we thought the choices we had to make were pretty serious, too.

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