According to me…..

I haven’t been here in a long time.  I’m still doing all I did before… Only two jobs and one volunteer.  The long distance relationship.. well, it’s busy and painful and beautiful.  It might not end well.   I do love him.  The police tell me they have arrested my dad… I guess he isn’t allowed to leave the country and has to go to court to set a date.  This will take a long time.  I wonder if he will live that long.  Thing is… if he just admitted it… I’d have closure.  I guess … him being charged again, same charge – is a bit of closure.  It’s the world saying ok, we know it happened and the process has begun to make amends.  But no one can make amends for what he did.  No one can fix it.  17 years of abuse… I’ve been living with / through… I kid myself if I think it hasn’t affected my world.  What do I want?  I never wanted jail time for him… just help.. but there is no help for that.  So I don’t know.

I’m living in a warehouse.  I’m probably going to be homeless at some point.  The city says we aren’t allowed to live here.. but I love it here.   My day consists of biking to an apartment to shower… handwashing dishes in cold water, carrying buckets of water up and down.  Of wondering when I’m going to be homeless .. and my cat too.  I wasn’t stable enough to have a pet.. but she was left to me, so I have her and love her.

I’m really shitty with money.  It’s not the end of the month yet and I’m broke. lol

I drink too much.  I think I have to quit.  I’m destroying myself.  I’m destroying my relationships.  I’ve decided to look up Al-anon meetings tomorrow… it’s my first step.  I should be in AA and IA… but one step at a time.

Basically I’m a mess and I don’t even know why I’m writing except to get it out.

It’s been a horrid week… I saw a dog get killed and my friend’s mom died on her birthday and all the rest. I don’t know.

That’s all for now.  Maybe later I can write something more important.


I met the most interesting guy the other day.

I was on the bus and he asked me if my headphones were Sennheisers.  I said yes they were… so he told me that he just got back from a ski competition, and Sennheiser is one of the sponsors!

He tells me they were absolutely fantastic!

Click here for the link to see the videos – and VOTE!!!  They’re terrific!

Hey there, Mr Premier.  I have a question.

I’m probably going to die very soon – I’m only 46.  It’s your fault.  Do you care?

Do you need me to explain?  I know it’s early.  Get comfortable, grab a coffee.

I’m not lazy, nor do I wish to be on social assistance.  I have part time work (Ontario Works takes half of that income) and do a George Brown course in between that work, in order to get better work.  I also pick up spare jobs where I can.  I volunteer in the community.  I have a biological research diploma and I’m well on my way to having an autocad certificate – with a hundred percent.  So you see, I could be one of the *special* people in your life, but I’m not, am I?

Let me tell you a little story.  A few years back my jaw got broken in a random act of violence, through no doing of my own.  Since then, my teeth don’t fit together quite right, it’s hard to eat.  I’m on social assistance.  I can do nothing about it, because S.A. doesn’t cover dental.  No cleaning, no anything – unless it’s an emergency.  Then they just pull out the offending tooth.  How many times have you or your children been to a dentist, this last year alone?

Right, well.. it’s a well known fact that an infection in your gums can cause heart disease or stroke.  As I sit here writing at 5:20 am, it’s because my whole gum line suddenly became  red, inflamed, angry, bleeding, painful.  In a  mere two days I’ve been reduced to taking odd pills for allergies just so I can sleep – because I have no money to buy pain killers.  Have you ever had a tooth ache, Mr Premier?  Yes well, picture that pain throughout your entire mouth.  I’m not one to moan about every little pain, but this is making me cry.  My glands are swollen, my ears and eyes hurt.  I have a fever.  And can you guess what’s next, given the date?  Yes, that’s right… nothing is open if I had money.   The emergency dental clinics want money – up front.

I could take that money out of my rent, but I already paid it.  After rent I am not left with enough to buy food all month – never mind essentials.  I don’t even have shoes without holes.  Imagine your children going to school with holes in their shoes, Mr McGuinty.  With shoes they have owned for five years because there is no money to replace them.

When I’m dead, Dalton McGuinty – will your life be altered any?  You are a murderer, McGuinty.  Shame on you! I have no idea how you can look yourself in the eye.. never mind having a family that loves you.  You wouldn’t do this to them.  But so long as you can’t see it, I suppose you think it’s not happening.

Do you know… freezing rates – for you – means you ONLY get 208 thousand a year.  I have to live on less than 7000 a year.  Figure it out.  Freezing your rates is a lot different than freezing mine.  It’s akin to committing murder.  I already know of people that have died from this.  Do you care?  Hell no.

I have a great idea!  Why don’t YOU lend me the money.. and I’ll pay you back, I promise!  See below.


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
For other uses, see Austerity (disambiguation).
For the current opposition to present-day austerity measures, see Anti-austerity protests.

In economicsausterity is a policy of deficit-cutting, lower spending, and a reduction in the amount of benefits and public services provided.[1] Austerity policies are often used by governments to reduce their deficit spending[2] while sometimes coupled with increases in taxes to pay back creditors to reduce debt.[3] “Austerity” was named the word of the year by Merriam-Webster in 2010.[4]

The Expansionary fiscal contraction hypothesis is the economic theory that explores whether government austerity can result in economic expansion. This hypothesis and real world data analysis indicate that expansion from austerity is very limited and occurs only during periods when consumption is not constrained.


New Campaign

We’re embarking on a new campaign.  We did a test run yesterday and wow.. the results were – impressive?

I can’t say what it is we are doing, because that’s top secret.  But the feelings that came of it are overwhelming to me.  I can’t get it out of my head.

We discovered that people have a lot of anger, hiding inside.  And we found a way to bring that out.  It wasn’t a reaction I expected and it was unnerving.

But.. the worst part is knowing that so many people live with this inside them every day.  People are angry.  The government controls and rules while living the good life.

People struggle every day to make ends meet.. or just to eat.  And someone else is controlling that.  Taking away dignity and health.  And people are very angry.  They have every right to be.

But how sad.. as a society, that we all have that underneath.

Intimidation.  We also discovered how intimidated people are by government people.. people in power.  What a horrible world.  I’m saddened by that.  Beyond words.

2011 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 7,800 times in 2011. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 7 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.




Want to give the Gift of Dignity this Holiday Season??

Sign our petition to Put Food in the Budget of our neighbours on social
assistance. An immediate increase of $100/month to enable people to purchase
healthy food is a gift that:

– combats hunger and injustice
– reduces reliance on our already over-burdened food banks and volunteers
– is a start at eliminating some of the wasted time and energy that goes
into maintining our systemic, second rate food system for the poor.
– is a first step towards raising rates to adequate levels that reflect the
real cost of living in Ontario.
– restores the right of individuals to purchase their own healthy food
– is simply the right thing to do.

Thanks to all of you who sign this petition and help to restore some balance
in a world where Charity cannot redress poverty and inequity.

Holiday Cards!

Click here to get your own verion of the invitation!  Dec 19th Invitation

Click here to print off your own cards to mail!!   DearDalton card

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