You get accustomed to the fact that they are healthy… that they don’t spend much time in need as they are strong and confident, and happy… doing their thing. You take it for granted that they are healthy and happy and you go about your life.
Then you get a call or a text, as it would happen. And after 24 years you hear that your child is having seizures and there is no past of this, and no family history… and you don’t want to cry because you should at least find out what is happening first…so you swallow it down. You force yourself to be strong. For them. For sanity…
And at the end of the day, when you learn they are ok….. you cherish the child more… knowing just how terrified you were all through the experience. And you cry alone… with relief. You let the terror and fear go alone.
And isn’t it telling. Those around you who say they love you… how they handle this. Suddenly it’s all about them, or your lack of being with them, or your getting help from unexpected people….. and the feelings created by this. Who is there and who isn’t when the chips are down. What a day.. the things I’ve learned.